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Q4: What Am I Thankful For This Week?

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Question 4 immediately made me think about Winnie the Pooh and the brilliant, life-affirming quotes that the author A. A. Milne managed to incorporate into the wonderful teddy bear fairy tales. There are so many I could refer to when answering this week’s question but the best one for sure is this:

Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is a mystery
But today is a gift
That’s why they call it
THE PRESENT

Amen, amen, AAAMEN! As an individual who was born to the best circumstances anyone on this planet ever could I have no right to be ungrateful. Yes, I complain about useless things like we all do and yes, I also have endured needless complications and difficulties unnecessarily much in my life. But still I am aware of the fact that I am one of the most fortunate people of all the fortunate people alive. And because I live with that realization 24/7 I am thankful for a lot, all of the time!

But I gotta admit, it hasn’t always been the case. I had to go through a lot of hurdles, to survive way too many problems that most people with my kind of background never need to, and to face innumerable complications especially professionally, that I never thought possible in a civilized, relatively equal country like Finland, before I learned to appreciate my circumstance.

But no matter how much shit you go through, there’s always a silver lining and one day you realize that actually there was a point for all that suffering. I, for example, struggled as an adolescent. I was super-insecure, but extremely stubborn in my views and would not budge from those views for anyone. Not even for my own benefit. How I have managed to avoid proper fist fights all my life, I really don’t know. But thank goodness for that lucky star that looked after me during those times when it would have been more than easy for me to fall into wrong crowds and go down a path that would have ruined me before I turned 25. Shout-out to my parents as well, there really is a valid point for setting boundaries for and being strict af with your children!

Putting it simply, I’ve been a bloody difficult person in the past. Reeeally nerve-racking. But thankfully I realized early on that part of it was the fact that I couldn’t be myself in the country I was born into. So I moved away. I came back just to realize that Finland really isn’t the place for me and I moved away again. And I have no plans of moving back there.

When you move away from home it’s already enough of a shock for the system. But when you move away from home and your home country you need to grow up and become independent immediately, the moment the plane is off the ground. Nobody’s there to tie up your shoelaces, to make your bed for you or to make sure you eat well enough after that. You will have to learn to change that light-bulb yourself and to deal with all sorts of challenging situations on your own, such as dishonest landlords, racism, sexism, and how everyday life works in your new home town, etc., etc.

But that is exactly when you learn, when you really learn about life: what’s worth being stressed up about and what is not, who your real friends are, and most importantly, how strong you really are !

When summing up my life overall it really has been approximately 70% unluck and 30% luck. But because most of my life hasn’t gone according to plan (at all!) the more I am able to appreciate the moments when things do go my way. Like the times when the tram arrives to the stop exactly when I do instead of leaving just seconds before I can make it in, which is what happens 90% of the time.

So, what am I thankful for this week? All the basic things obviously: the fact that I have a roof (a very nice roof in fact) on my head, food in my fridge, a monthly salary and of course friends and family in my life. Since moving to Estonia I have also learned to value health much more than before because I have never been sick so often as I have been here. I blame the cold and the stress that this country has confined me in. But even though I am not happy here, I am thankful of the fact that I can still cope. Quite well in fact! I get on with my life and concentrate on all the things I can do to improve it instead of burying myself in bed and becoming bitter af.

Of course I am also ecstatically thankful for the fact that WINTER IS OVER! There’s sunshine and the temperatures are rising = I get to wear my favourite clothes and shoes FINALLY! And very soon we will start seeing little green buds on tree branches and bushes, flowers popping everywhere and simply life returning to this country. It also means hellish pollem allergy but totally worth it if it’s the cost of making this city livable-looking again! Little things, people, the very important little things in life :D

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