Photography task: Someone you love
Location: My living room
Camera setting: Close up
Due to privacy issues I decided not to photograph my
boyfriend and instead focus on a heart made of gold,
which is tacky af but he’s my lil golden boy.
Once upon a time there was a girl who wanted to be a princess and marry a perfect prince. Because in her mind it was a completely realistic scenario.
Yeah, that’s me. Oh, how I wanted to become a princess one way or another! But the reality settled on me around the teenage years and I had to admit to myself that the probability of me ever becoming a princess was teeny-tiny, if even nonexistent. That was the first big disappointment of my life. At least I learned to deal with disappointments at an early age.
Instead of actual princes I’ve dated many, many men of varying quality. Although, I have to say that having been as picky as I always have, I’ve been able to avoid the biggest freaks that this circus called Life has to offer.
If you are related to me in any way and thus should not know about my relations with men, stop reading right now! Others, do continue.
I once dated a guy for a little while who lied to me on our first date that he was a pilot. And when it dawned on him that since that first date I had realized that he was as much a pilot as I was, he just disappeared.
I also dated an American soldier who was ordered to take a post in another country with a week’s notice. But he at least told me about it before he disappeared.
I’ve definitely had a thing for soldiers in the past because my list of men includes 2 British soldiers, one marine and one working for the air force, and 2 NATO guys from the US + one Australian veteran (sounds like and old man but a veteran can these days mean a 25-year-old).
But every time I met a guy I basically knew that yeah, we can hang out but this is not going to go anywhere. I’ve always loved being single and have never had any need for a man. But at the age of about 27-28 I found myself getting tired of the endless dates, the endless conversations of “So, what do you do?” and the endless awkward goodbyes at the end of the evening.
And still there was nothing more I could do about it than keep going on more dates. Thank goodness for Tinder! In Estonia dating opportunities for someone as picky as me are extreeemely scarce, if in fact nonexistent. But through Tinder I found European and Australian men, and those NATO soldiers to hang out with.
And then I matched with this Finnish guy. I didn’t think that much of him at first. He was good-looking, alright, but I didn’t think I would be missing much if I didn’t message him or if he didn’t message me.
But he messaged me! If he had written “Hi, how are you?” I would’ve deleted him immediately. I don’t do boring people. Thankfully no! Instead he wrote:
“I have a question for you: what’s really easy to get into but difficult to get out of?”
I was at work at that moment and immediately put this question in front of my colleague and our trainees, and we all pondered on it. I even Googled the question and the answer was so boring that I almost fell asleep at my desk; ‘trouble’. BLAH!
So, I came up with my own answer: I don’t know if this makes sense for all of you but basically in Finland we have shopping carts shaped like cars where you can put your child while grocery shopping and pile all the groceries on top of the “car”. So I wrote:
“You know those shopping carts shaped like a car where you can put your kid in? They’re really easy to get into but really hard to get out of if you’re an adult.”
And that was it. I was impressed that he had come up with an original conversation starter and he was impressed that I had a sense of humour. Neither of us was interested in finding anything out about the other one by messaging so we set up a first date straight off: after-work on Friday, yes please.
I remember the clothing crisis I had then… My trench coat had just been washed and was soaking wet so I couldn’t wear it. So I had to go for a fur vest, which in Finland is automatically connected to a ‘Russian woman!’, which is something that we don’t necessarily like being mistaken for.
I walked to the Old Town as agreed and there was this guy with brown hair and a bomber jacket waiting by the gates, leaning against the wall.
I’ve never been the nervous type or flustered when I meet new people and thankfully neither was he. So there was no problem in coming up with things to talk about when we started walking towards the first of the many bars we ended up going to that evening.
The beginning of our relationship was checkered with him being away on business trips and maybe because of that it took us about 4 months before we were both at that stage where we could admit to each other and everyone else that we were in a relationship. And even after that we’ve sometimes been a bit on and off.
In the beginning I thought that we are so similar and that’s the reason why we work together so well; we are both born in January just 1 day apart, we’re both über stubborn and very ambitious, and both very honest.
But now, after almost a year together, I do have to admit that the ‘opposites attract’ argument is accurate in our case as well; he’s an introvert, I’m an extrovert; he talks a lot but does little, I talk a lot and do everything I say I would do; he is completely incapable of planning even what he’s going to have for lunch tomorrow, whereas I have a plan for every situation that life might throw at me tomorrow or next week.
We’ve both needed to adapt a bit because he’s not the type of guy I’ve dated before (I had a thing for assholes in the past) and I am definitely not the type of woman he has probably ever even set his eyes on before :D
It’s been quite a struggle sometimes when we’ve been a world apart (literally) but somehow we’ve both always wanted to stay together hard enough to find a way through all the arguments and misunderstandings.
But we make a good team, I think. And that’s what it’s all about. In fact, in a month’s time we have our first anniversary; 1 year from our first date. :)