It’s weekend again and time to answer the 7th question. It’s been quite refreshing to reflect on my life these past 7 weeks. Especially because when I started this series I was in quite a different state of mind compared to now. The situation itself hasn’t changed any better but I’m working on it and hoping for improvement in the near future.
When googleing ‘how to be successful‘ most of the results you get are about self-reflection and setting goals accordingly. Considering how much self-reflection I have done in the past few years I can’t help but wonder how on Earth am I not more successful then?
Fact is that these self-help guides can only take you the first step of the way. The rest of the journey depends on your own actions, decisions and, oh yes, some of it also depends on luck. And when looking back I don’t need to venture too far in my memory lane to see two quite big errors that have been my own making, and which have greatly affected my entire life, both economically and personally.
But when you take a tumble you can always get up and go again. Thankfully I’ve been quite good at bouncing back, always. I don’t mind falling down, because every time I do I learn and hopefully won’t make the same mistake ever again. And since I feel that my life has taken a bit of a turn during these past weeks, it might be good to look back and assess what practices from these 7 weeks are worth KEEPING, what I should STOP doing or worrying about and what MORE could I do to take me from a situation I do not want to be in to a place where I feel like I’m a ship back on course again.
What Do I Need To KEEP Doing?
- Keep up the positive attitude and the belief in the fact that things will turn out OK
- Keep working on my self-development, for example, through online courses and keeping my eyes and ears open for interesting new trends and opportunities
- Keep taking care of myself; making sure that I eat well and filling my free time with activities (shouldn’t be too hard now that Spring is finally here, the terraces open and weather warm enough for me to spend time outside)
- Keep taking ownership of things that I do or say because excuses never lead anywhere
- Keep believing in myself and the fact that I deserve better and will get there!
As a whole I would say I’m doing quite OK when combing through the above list considering the alternative; I could have gotten very bitter about my life after moving to Estonia and let myself slip under a blanket of depression until I was in such a bad state that it would have been extremely difficult to get back on my feet. Thankfully I have been able to see past all the crash-downs that happened when I left Slovakia.
Probably the best decision, the decision that has enabled me to stay positive and keep looking for something better professionally, was the decision to just let it all go. Which brings us to the next point:
What Do I Need To STOP Doing?
- Stop trying to fix issues where my help is not wanted
- Stop worrying about my situation and the fact that at my age it’s almost embarrassing to be in the position that I find myself stuck in every morning when I open my eyes
- Stop worrying about money (!!)
- Stop arguing about things I know very little of (this is a very bad habit I have inherited and which causes problems especially with the closest and most important people in my life)
- Stop complaining
Point 1 I already failed this week. Things just boiled over and I can’t help being a mother bear deep down; when my team is threatened I automatically raise to the occasion and start trying to fix things. Except it’s not my team, I am not the Team Leader, I am just part of the team. So it’s not my responsibility to fix… But I’m a Project Manager by nature and I don’t know if it’s possible to turn off a personality trait. So, the only solution can only be to remove myself from the situation. I will do my best to remember that from now on!
Points 3 and 5 are probably applicable for every single person on the planet and obviously I am not faultless either. But I must say that complaining altogether isn’t necessarily a bad thing; sometimes one needs to let off some steam and usually the way to get it all out is by complaining how bad things are. Just make sure you don’t leave the record on and just keep on ranting endlessly. After complaining it’s always good to come up with a possible solution for the situation, whatever it may be.
What Do I Need To START Doing?
- Start budgeting and saving money properly
- Start reading more, especially factual, inspiring books
- Start asking for help when I need it instead of banging my head against the wall because I do not have the required skills, yet
- Start being more active overall, go out more, meet new people, do things; as a result of my budgeting I should have enough money to spare for being active, because most activities cost, unfortunately
- Start working on ways to remove myself from situations that are not mine to fix or get involved in
The last point coincides with the first point on the STOP list. It is a fault I did not know I had, but my current job has brought out sides in me that I never knew existed. Unfortunately they have not been positive sides. But at least I am aware of them now and will thus be able to better control myself in the future if similar situations occur… God forbid!
The budgeting point is very important and interesting to me. I have been able to save even big sums of money on a separate bank account for a purpose, such as going for an exchange abroad. But when it comes to making a monthly budget and sticking to it or to actually investing money I am completely lost.
And this is where the point 2, reading, comes into picture; there are so many good books that would clarify the different options – how and where to invest – and that could probably make the whole issue more understandable for me. Because right now I don’t really know anything about investing. OK, I did put 200€ into Bitcoin and have so far profited 8€, but that is just me testing, testing.
I can honestly recommend listing aspects of your life into these 3 categories. You’ve got to really think about them and take a look at yourself from different perspectives. Try to think in particular how others might perceive you in certain situations. You might have gotten some feedback from your employer or colleagues or friends already, that’s an easy place to start from.
This was actually quite a cathartic post to write: while pondering on the 5 points for each category I had to really think back and I even realized some points, which I haven’t thought about so much before. But probably will now!