Photography Challenge Day 4:
I love flat lay photography and beautiful assemblies of beautiful items, so when I saw this day’s task, I immediately went onto Pinterest and searched ‘flat lay photographs with candle’ for inspiration. And oh boy, didn’t I find inspiration! As I’ve mentioned, the problem I’m facing here is lack of daylight, which in this case meant that I actually went home during one lunch hour to take these photos.
Why are they still so dark? Because it was a rainy day and there’s not one ray of sun that could penetrate the clouds over Estonia.
Btw, the “plate”, on which the candle is, is an actual seashell from the Philippines. My boyfriend brought me a collection of cutlery and these small plates made out of seashells from one trip and these shells are absolutely gorgeous. So, instead of keeping them hidden in the box I like to keep jewelry on them.
I’m about to turn 30 soon. Okay, in about a month, but you know how people start to reflect on their lives at his point? They make bucket lists about things they should do before they turn 30 and bucket lists about things they should do after they’ve turned 30.
But why? Being 30 isn’t any different than being 27 or 32. And since for the past couple of months I’ve been constantly reminded of the fact that I don’t look or behave like other people my age, I really struggle to understand all that stress and demands that people put on themselves just for the sake of turning 30.
How should a 30-year-old look or behave like, then? Please enlighten me. Because we can’t all have families, big houses, 2 dogs and 2 cars at this point in our lives. And tbh, I don’t even want those things right now. Okay, the dog I want!
Since it’s customary to shout about the fact that “I’M GETTING OLDER!” I decided to, instead of a bucket list, look back at my life and summarize it into 7 words. The future is unknown, but I sure know what has been and done, so here goes:
My Life In 7 Words
1 Spice Girls (it’s 1 word really!)
Was there life before Spice Girls? If yes, I can hardly remember. I hope the members of this iconic girl group are aware of the impact they had on an enormous amount of young girls and women!
I was around 6-7 years old when Spice Girls came about and ješuš mária, they toppled my whole world! They were the perfect icons and role models for a school girl with all that Girl Power. I would come home from school, put on my Spice Girls albums, amp up the volume to the fullest and dance, dance, DANCE until everybody else came home.
2 Pains (of adolescence)
Teenage years are not easy for anyone, I guess. Even if you’re part of the “popular girls” group (which I, for sure, never was) you struggle with insecurities, relationships, and all the changes that happen in your body.
I had a more serious case of acne tormenting me through the teen years; I didn’t just have pimples, I had those kinds that can’t be punctured and which leave pockmarks (craters, as I like to call them) when they finally deem fit to fuck off. Thankfully it was the 20th century and there was medication available that completely cleared my skin in 6 months.
But the craters still exist and act as constant reminders of the self-esteem issues I suffered from back then. On top of that there were the usual teenage tantrums and I also used to be a full-on introvert. It’s hard for even myself to believe that but yeah, I’d rather stay at home after school writing and drawing than join my classmates sitting on that one park bench all day every day.
I was never lonely, though, I’ve always had friends. Plenty of them, but I just didn’t feel like socializing more than what was necessary at school. And that’s how much a person can change!
Graduating from high school is a huge deal in Finland. That’s the first step you take into adulthood, after which you’re prepared to join the world of University, jobs, and a new set of responsibilities.
When we received those white caps and left the security of the school we had attended for the past 6 years, and the group of people with whom we had shared a large part of those 6 years, it really felt like ‘this is it!’ This is where it all starts. And oh boy, didn’t it just!
From graduating onwards the next 10 years of my life could be summarized into 1 word, and that word is definitely adventure! I have seen, heard, tasted, and experienced more than most of my friends and family probably will in a lifetime. And I LLLOVE IT!
Not all experiences have been positive, of course, but whatever has happened, has been a lesson learned both in good and in bad. I’ve seen places, done things, and gotten to know people that have shaped my life to what it is right now. And it’s all been amazing!
No matter how grand and amazing your life is, nobody’s safe from an occasional disappointment. As many things in my life, also the disappointments were a tad greater particularly in the sense that they have affected my life and the person I am today probably the most.
There are 2 major periods in my life which I will always remember as most miserable; the 1 and a half years I was jobless and stuck in Finland, and the first 2 years after moving to Estonia. ‘Misery’ is a word that can’t cover either of those horrendous periods in my life. But I learned from both! So, even those periods were, in the end, worth it.
After almost succumbing to depression during joblessness I reached completely new heights when I moved to Slovakia. Those were my happiest years. During joblessness I had to do a lot of soul searching to keep myself sane, so I moved to Slovakia with a new set of values and goals.
And probably because of all that I was able to enjoy my life there on a whole new level; I had learned to appreciate the little things and be more patient when things don’t go my way. I finally learned what it feels like to be truly happy. I guess I could say I “found myself”, so nowadays I’m a confident young woman who knows she can achieve whatever she sets her mind onto.
Everything until now has been about me trying my limits, taking risks, really pushing my own boundaries to the max to figure out who I am and what I want. It’s taken me almost 30 years but I feel like I’m finally there.
I still don’t know what it is exactly that I want to do with my life but it’s right there, I can almost see it. But at this point I am standing on the starting block, a block I had to experience a lot to reach, but I know that everything, every unlucky event, every happy surprise, every challenge, every victory, every single struggle and lesson learned has lead me to where I am right now.
And this is where I get to go out there and use what I’ve seen, heard, experienced, and learned. This is where I start. So world, watch out! I will be coming to get you! xx