Photography task: Eyes
Location: My bedroom
Camera setting: Close up
One word: unhealthy. You might add the words “as” and “fuck”.
I’m aware that my diet is not what my school nurse would have ever approved but it is a diet that keeps me happy. Because it is a diet that I don’t spend any time or energy thinking about!
I don’t have the self control for any sort of diets simply because I love food too much. I could eat forever and ever. Thank goodness I have been blessed with good enough digestive system that it enables me to eat as unhealthily as I want without it showing on my waist quite as badly as it would for many others.
OK, I gotta admit, my age is catching up with me and stuff tends to stick to me unlike before. As a result I have recently started to pay a bit more attention on what I eat. In addition I’ve started to have cravings for fresh stuff that doesn’t leave me feeling stuffed like a steak would.
I’ve been 80% vegetarian now for almost 5 years, so that might have had some effect on why I haven’t ended up in a hospital bed due to malnutrition. But it must also be because in the past I’ve put my body through such a ringer nutrition-wise that by now I can honestly say my stomach is made out of titanium. It would take cryptonite to upset it.
To be honest, as a teenager I guess I could say I had an eating disorder. But then again it’s difficult to know because I was never diagnosed, I was never unhealthily under-weight and I was so bloody fit that I was almost jealous at myself when looking in the mirror.
My eating habits back then were almost nonexistent; I would go to dance practice 4-5 times a week 2-3 hours a day and have a sandwich and an omelette each day. That’s it. Oh yeah, and a bag of candy! I ate a shed-load of candy back then. Maybe I got an over-doze because these days I prefer salty snacks. I couldn’t down an entire bag of candy at once any more.
During weekends I ate a proper breakfast and dinner, though, because in our family we always ate together on weekends. A lovely tradition that probably kept me alive and fed enough to be able to basically fast 5 days a week.
What’s my regular diet now then? Well, here goes:
I don’t eat breakfast. Only when I have visitors or I’m visiting home I have breakfast on weekends, otherwise I never eat breakfast. Just a cup of coffee in the morning will do.
Lunch is usually something small. If I eat a proper meal I will be so tired for the next few hours that I won’t get any work done so I’m keeping it small. Most often I scuttle to the store next to the office and buy a pastry with spinach and either salmon or feta cheese in it.
So, at lunch at least I’m eating healthy; spinach, come on! My blood’s tough as iron for sure by now! Sometimes I also get a chocolate bar for dessert.
The next time I eat is in the evening. This varies according to what I want. If I feel like eating a bag of crisps I purchase a bag of crisps and eat it (yes, the whole bag). Usually I also have an omelette later on, because the hot meal-thing is somehow embedded into my brain and it must be had even if it’s just a hot omelette.
Or if I feel like ordering in, I order in. Most often it’s Indian food that I order in: vegetarian curry, hallelujah! I gotta advertise a bit; restaurant Elevant here in Tallinn is TO DIE FOR!
Or if I’m just not that hungry I boil an egg and make an egg sandwich. Sometimes that’s all I need.
Yeah, I don’t eat much. But I’ve never eaten much. My mum tells the story of me not eating even as a baby. So I guess that’s just the way my body works, I survive with much less than most people.
And that is also the reason why I do not believe in diets or the plate models; we all have bodies that function differently so why would there be one solution that would work for all of us eating-wise. I tried eating “normally” as the plate model suggests and I gained 7 kilos in 4 months. So no effing way, that’s not for me!
I’ll keep to my pizza, pasta, crisp and vegetarian order-in meals since they seem to keep me happy and healthy enough (I’m seriously almost never sick despite my unconventional diet). I feel good, I’m healthy and everything functions as it should, so I can’t be doing too much wrong, right?
The writing challenge (Relationship to food) didn’t really coincide with the photography challenge (Eyes) on this particular day so because this article was all about food I’ll incorporate couple food photos here as well, just to keep things on the issue ;)
These pictures are from one of my favourite restaurants here in Tallinn; NOP. It offers organic food with a lot of options for vegetarians and vegans.