The question of self-worth without a job is already relevant for many of us, or will be very soon. The world is changing faster than ever and this time not for the better.
As artificial intelligence steals more and more of our jobs, we’re left to question what is our purpose here after all? We’ve been taught since infancy that we are here only to serve some random employer and to make just enough money to stay alive. Because no money = no right to exist.
Sounds drastic stated like that but it’s true:
- you are allowed to eat only if you can afford to buy food (even if not eating means dying)
- you’re entitled to a roof over your head only if you can pay for it, otherwise you may as well exist under a bridge
- human rights are only for those who are rich and white or can afford them, everyone else may as well be slaves.
This is the world we live in and we think it’s fair. We call it freedom when in reality it’s fucking far from it! See how effectively you’ve been brainwashed? Because in reality it only takes two minutes to lose your job = money, which means you just lost your right to food, a home and even your human rights.
To bring some hope into this hopeless state of the world, I want to introduce a different angle to life. One that is focused around our actual worth as human beings, NOT our finances as a marker of our value.
This article offers practical, compassionate steps to separate your identity from your job and rebuild confidence in a changing labor market.
Self-Worth Without a Job – 10 Practical Tips to Reclaim Your Identity
You may ask who am I to talk about this, what are my qualifications? Well, you can’t really get a degree in unemployment and thriving with it. But if such existed, I would have it!
- I learned some of the hardest lessons in life as an unemployed University graduate
- I’ve been fired from a job more than once (sometimes for legit reasons, other times not legit at all)
- Accidentally becoming an entrepreneur quickly confirmed what I already knew: work life is the biggest scam in existence!
My self-esteem was never tied to any job because I never took work that seriously. It was just the necessary evil to make enough money to get by. And that’s the mindset that you need to shift to if you wish to maintain your self-worth without a job.
So, let’s begin with clarifying what is self-worth? Simply put, it means that you accept yourself as you are without needing external validation to do so. In other words; you know you are good enough, pretty enough and capable enough as you are.
It’s nice when somebody confirms that by complimenting you! But you don’t need constant complimenting to know that you are better than fine just as you are. That’s the trickiest part but you have to sit yourself down and have that serious conversation with yourself (yes, I did it too!) Only after that you can:
1. Reframe what “work” means
What do you reply when someone asks you what you do for work? You state your job title, don’t you? What is that title though? Does it actually say anything about what you actually do?
These days job titles are ridiculously creative because companies try to hide the fact that in reality you do the work of 5 people while only getting paid for one. As such, your title is in fact worthless. It doesn’t give any idea of what you actually contribute = what is the value you create.
So, let’s flip that story; your title (or salary) does NOT indicate your value, it’s actually the work you do. How much value do you create for the company you work for each month? How much of that value shows up on your bank account? And more importantly, what value do you create to the society you live in, if any?
Now, if you work in an office setting or in an administrative job, you may start to feel a tad attacked. Because yeah, what is the actual value you create in society?
- None of us can deny the fact that the least paid jobs create the most value in the world everywhere: nurses, firemen, cleaners, cooks, etc., etc.
- Whereas the highest paid jobs – CEO, VP, Stakeholder, etc. – only accumulate wealth for a few individuals… and that’s not you.
- Through the work that you do, you create wealth for those few individuals, not yourself.
So, let’s redeem your identity from a job that has absolutely nothing to do with it!
How to do it:
In order to redeem your self-worth without a job you must acknowledge and accept the absurdity of the capitalistic system we live in. And then you should do this:
- List your skills: write down 8 – 12 skills and qualities that you have. Not work-related skills, actual real-life, personal skills like empathy, problem-solving, communication, cooking, etc.
- Create an “I am” inventory: use the list to create self-affirming statements like “I am a good listener” and “I am well organised” instead of “I am [job title].
A job title strips you of your actual self-worth, whereas knowing yourself feeds it. Check the list when your self-esteem takes a hit and add to it regularly. You’ll be surprised how gifted and valuable you actually are outside of the job market!
2. Build a routine that motivates and gives you a feeling of purpose
When I was jobless for over a year I did sink into a low place mentally. I became very negative and bitter and was probably depressed but never got diagnosed. In the end it was my friends telling me straight to my face what an awful negative being I was that shook me out of that state of misery:
I didn’t want to be someone who makes everyone around her miserable! Nobody wants to be around people like that, I sure wouldn’t! So, better make sure I don’t become one of those people myself. That was one of the most important self-reflection lessons I’ve ever learned: feel the feels but don’t let them take control!
Cry, walk in circles, shout at the walls, rage if you must! Let it all out but don’t wallow. It’s important to acknowledge everything you feel and allow yourself to feel it all. And then it’s time for action before those emotions overwhelm you and get you stuck! Work ≠ you so let’s reclaim your self-worth without a job!
How to do it:
One of the most helpful things that I noticed when digging myself out of the pit of misery that I had dug myself into was having a routine. A clear daily routine that includes getting out of bed, some form of movement, social connection, and some creative activity like learning something new.
In the beginning you can start easy and focus on creating just a morning routine. For me, that routine started with a rule: I was not allowed to get out of bed until I had come up with 3 positive things about my life. At the deepest depths of misery this may sound impossible but be kind to yourself and don’t set yourself up to fail:
Gratefulness begins from the most basic things that we’ve grown to take for granted. But shouldn’t! Things like
- having a roof over your head
- being able to afford food (even if you have to live on a tight budget)
- being healthy and able to move around
- having people in your life who love and care about you.
Another lesson that being grateful has taught me, is that giving is actually much more rewarding than taking. As examples of self-worth this could be volunteering versus earning a salary.
When you help others, the feeling is wholesome and healing. Earning a salary, on the other hand… It doesn’t feel like anything, except maybe a relief since last month’s salary was spent ages ago.
3. Re-think your skillset strategically (as the world changes)
Whether we like it or not, AI will take over many of the jobs that currently enable us to earn a living. As that happens the system we exist in has to shift drastically because we can’t all die of hunger. We simply won’t!
So now is the time to rethink our skillsets in a way that isn’t dictated by one’s job title because we are building self-worth without a job. And you can start that by considering what AI can’t do. Things like:
- emotional intelligence
- complex judgment
- original creativity
- relationship-building
- systems thinking
- and cross-disciplinary synthesis.
Which of these are you particularly gifted at? Start expanding from there: find opportunities to learn about and enhance those skills. This builds your competence and confidence without any pressure to show off to someone who’s supposedly in a higher position than you even though they lack the competence.
Once you’re clear on your natural gifts you can invent services or products around it. Build a website to sell and market them and oops, you’re an entrepreneur! Who even needs a job?!
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4. Create a “worth portfolio”
The previous point can easily slip into execution mode which leads to burnout. This is understandable, so don’t beat yourself up about it! We’ve been brainwashed so deeply and fundamentally into this capitalistic brain rot that it will take time to unlearn it all.
For your self-esteem’s sake though, you have to understand that there are other ways to exist than capitalism. And doing business is much more profitable in the long run by operating through a slow business model rather than by chasing unsustainable quick wins.
So, before I talk about creating a worth portfolio, I need you to switch off that execution mode first. You don’t need it anymore!
How to do it:
A worth portfolio is like a professional portfolio but includes actual examples of self-worth. Real self-worth which is not tied to a title or a salary. You can create one by:
- Documenting wins: Keep a running list of accomplishments, kind feedback, creative projects, and problems you’ve solved in your everyday life. And remember, a win is a win regardless of its size or social significance!
- Quantify impact: In case numbers and statistics help you build confidence without flipping you overboard, marking up even small metrics, like the amount of people helped, hours volunteered, problems sorted, etc., can be really beneficial.
5. Cherish your social connections
Self-worth without a job can be tricky to maintain if we lose most of our social circle with the job. This is unlikely for most of us because we still have family and friends outside of work but there may be issues with living far away from them, etc.
Nonetheless, it’s very important that we don’t withdraw from the world! Humans are social beings, we need a community that we can be a part of. So, if your most obvious community isn’t available for whatever reason, stay active and:
- Network with a fresh mindset: Focus on creating relationships, not pitching yourself. Conversations without a work agenda build a stronger and more balanced social identity and can lead to unexpected new life paths.
- Join communities that represent your life values: Communities are everywhere around us: they can be found in hobbies, meetups, courses, or online groups built around causes or skills that matter to you.
6. Financial planning to buy time
Since the world still revolves around money, losing your sense of self-worth when you lose your job can be too easy. But it doesn’t have to be! Learning to budget one’s life is a creative venture that can buy you much more than food and a roof. A budget can even save you money.
The short and simple version of creating a budget and sticking to it is to:
- Stabilise the basics: At first, create a budget that prioritises only the essentials. It’s hard at first but stick to it! After 2 months of sticking to it you’ll already have a little bit left over.
- Make subtle lifestyle changes: Identify one or two cost-saving options to reduce pressure, like shopping only second hand and living more sustainably. Get inspired by following influencers in the sustainability sphere.
- Find ways to make even a little bit of money: Part-time, freelance, or gig work is a great way to bring balance to your financial security while it also gives you something to do and focus on.
7. Small daily practices to rebuild confidence
If your ‘purpose in life’ has been all about work, perhaps it’s a good thing that you now need to find a new way to define your self-worth without a job. Your self-esteem should never have been tied to something as unstable as making money for some twatty billionaire overseas!
As mentioned before, creating a routine can bring needed structure to your days. Now we’ll take that a bit further by using that routine to grow your confidence as well. You can achieve that by doing these things:
- Daily: Make a to-do list in the morning and focus on each task for max. 30 minutes to build momentum. Don’t over-stretch the list! Keep it simple and to-the-point. Or make one in the evening for the next day, so you can hit the ground running in the morning.
- Weekly: On Friday or Sunday go through what went well? What worked well for you, what challenged you, what did you learn, and what should you change in your new routine next week?
- Monthly: Set a bigger project that you can tackle over a longer period of time; fix something, teach someone something, or start or finish a project you’ve postponed.
8. Manage comparison and social media
Many people look for examples of self-worth on social media. But this couldn’t be a worse idea! Everything on social media is more or less fake, you’re never served the whole story. In addition to which, each and every one of us is completely unique! As such, you can’t compare yourself to others, no matter how hard you try (and you do!)
But for many of us cutting social media out of our lives completely can actually do more harm than good. To make sure you take care of your mental health at this difficult time you should at least:
- Limit exposure: Reduce time on platforms that trigger you, especially content like career highlight reels. You can set timers on your phone that throw you out of an app when you’ve consumed enough content or even block the apps in the evenings.
- Curate your feeds: Nowadays we have at least some control over the apps, so make sure you follow people and organizations that actually inspire you, provide you with ideas and give you a new perspective on what purpose and success can be.
9. Embrace experimentation and identity flexibility
To make the shift in self-worth without a job more effective, I really recommend trying to open up your mind a bit. The world we lived in just 5 years ago doesn’t exist anymore. And more changes are coming in now faster than ever.
The only way to survive such a rollercoaster is to let go of one’s obsession to control everything. You were never able to control anything and now even less so. I admit, it sucks! But let’s not wallow in it, we must move forward and accept that the only thing that’s constant is change.
How to do it:
- Don’t take yourself so seriously: First things first, learn to laugh at yourself! We’re all ridiculous at the end of the day and there’s nothing wrong with that. Quite the contrary! A world where people have a sense of humour is a lot nicer to exist in than this current one…
- Understand that failure doesn’t exist: Trying new things – a new hobby, projects, volunteering, etc. – is always recommended! How else could you know what you like to do/are good at? Sometimes you try things you don’t like/can’t do. That is NOT a failure, it’s a win; you just learned something new about yourself and know better going forward.
- Pay attention to how you talk to yourself: Words have great power so if you’re constantly lamenting your current circumstances, you make the situation even worse. So, make sure you name this period (because this too will pass) in an optimistic way: Call this phase “reorientation” or “skill exploration” rather than joblessness.
10. Remember that you’re not alone in this; You’re allowed to ask for help
The current joblessness crisis isn’t an issue only in your area. This is a global phenomena! We’re all in this together and in that spirit I’d like to share a quote I saw spray painted on a wall close to where I live:
The power of the people is stronger than the people in power
True! In order to make that count, we can’t withdraw ourselves from society. As hard as it may be at first, stay actively in touch with people you know, network and form new relationships, and find communities to participate in. And always reach out when you feel it’s all too much to bear on your own!
There’s absolutely no shame in seeking professional support in the 2020’s! It’s more embarrassing that the earlier generations refuse to do so. If anxiety or depression feel overwhelming, you should always seek mental-health help. Save local helpline numbers on your phone or find your local healthcare centre’s chat online.
Final Thoughts on Self-Worth Without a Job
We can’t stop it: AI will change the nature of and the way we work. But your value or self-esteem isn’t tied to tasks that machines can do. To reclaim your self-worth without a job you need to reframe how you understand contribution, documenting impact, your actual skillset, and routines.
It sounds like a lot but take it one step at a time and ask for help when needed. Before you know it, you’ve birthed a stable, resilient sense of identity that survives these changing times. Small, consistent actions add up to more wholesome confidence, which opens up new avenues for purposeful work. Work that you actually want to do and that you’re good at ♥
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