Ridiculous tinder dates are definitely my specialty. That’s why every now and then me and my friends spend a Saturday morning wondering how my life truly is the most random, surprising, and extraordinary in both, the good and the bad.
Even though I would rather do anything else than go on (most of the time) useless Tinder dates, here we are. Because what other option is there?
Most of my recent Tinder dates have been just the regular “let’s go for a drink“, after which I come home and unmatch those people. But there have been couple cases worth mentioning:
One a rocky road to success and the other humiliating, but in the end a victorious experience.
The Most Ridiculous Tinder Dates
The Rebelling Navy Officer
As those of you, who have followed my blog previously know, if there’s a soldier of any kind in the vicinity, I will find it! And in case you want to experience ridiculous tinder dates, these are a strong bet. My collection of soldier boys so far covers
- marines
- a parachutist
- an actual spy of some sort
- elite soldiers (whatever that is)
- some basic troopsters
- and now also a navy officer.
We matched on Tinder while this navy officer was still somewhere on the Baltic Sea sailing towards Tallinn. When he finally found out that they would dock on a Friday we agreed to meet up.
The complications started the minute they actually did dock. First they had to get all the work on the ship completed and there’s no knowing how long that will take. And even then it wasn’t 100% sure that they were going to be allowed out.
Thankfully I had a friend accompanying me for some wine while I waited to see whether he was going to be able to step on land or not. The initial date plan was to meet and go get some drinks. But he then informed me that actually they’re not allowed to drink in public while on duty.
Trying to be sneaky
Now, there are two sides to this. There have been incidents previously where a group of soldiers have gotten wasted and embarrassed the whole crew and country. So, some countries won’t allow their military personnel to just go out and about anymore.
But in this case my extensive experience with soldier bois smelled a rat. Many of them are married or just want to get “straight to the point” so they lie about this.
The problem was, I’m not comfortable inviting random strangers to my place. I’d at least like to meet them first in order to establish that they’re decent. And that they are actually the person that I matched with on Tinder.
Complications arose
But before I could explain this to him, he informed me of another snafu. He had said something rude to his commander, who was then lecturing him and threatened to keep him on the ship while others went out.
At that point I started to lose my patience and informed him that of all the days when he felt rebellious, THIS WAS NOT IT! Assuming that he really was the man I had matched with on Tinder, I was eager to meet him.
In the end the commander slapped a curfew on him: he had to be back on the ship by midnight (like a proper Cinderella). At that point my watch was nearing 10PM, so decisions had to be made.
I deemed him legit enough and told him to find a cab and walked home myself. Thank goodness he did turn out looking exactly as on the photos. It was a winding road but suffice to say, it was worth it.
Read also: How To Break Up With Style
The Humiliation Turned Into Victory
The second one of today’s ridiculous tinder dates happened very recently. And it’s perhaps the saddest example of a troubled human being, and the lengths they go to in order to achieve just 1 minute’s feeling of success.
It was a Friday and I matched with a ‘person’ who, according to the Tinder profile, was from England. He then messaged me, inviting me out for dinner and drinks. I gladly accepted. I got my make-up done, did my hair, and bounced out.
The moment I stepped out of my door it hit me! The 6th sense, that we women have, gave me very strong signals that something was very much wrong.
Now, I’m not saying that all Englishmen text the same way. But there are definite cultural differences in the manner people from different countries write messages. And the messages I got, and more importantly DIDN’T get from this ‘person’, got my alarm bells ringing full on.
The power of a woman’s intuition
Normally I’d walk straight into a bar and find a table, but because of this feeling of unease I waited outside. I already knew that it was unlikely that this ‘person’ would ever show up. So, if I did get a table, I’d end up sitting there alone. Awkward. And exactly what the date’s organizer wanted, I bet.
So, waiting there I got a confirmation for my fears. It was three past nine but I had received no communication about them being late. This never happens with normal people.
I decided that at 10 past I’ll walk. At seven past I got a message “Are you there yet?” Very weird. I answered ‘yes‘, and the ‘person’ unmatched me immediately. And it hit me. It hit me HARD. I knew exactly who was behind this and why, and within a split second all the pieces clicked to places.
The short and snappy messages, the complete absence of any sort of flirt, all the messages that had been “missing”. I’m not going to go into detail, but earlier that day I had been contacted by someone from my past, and that mixed with all of this simply couldn’t be a coincidence.
For a minute I felt completely humiliated and like I could kill someone with my bare hands. THANK GOODNESS for amazing friends who I immediately called and consulted. And who happened to be out and about, so I could join them instead of going home alone and humiliated.
And she lived happily ever after
In the end I had another great Friday night out with friends, and discovered a brilliant new bar in the process. After couple of hours the humiliation had evaporated and the rage had been replaced with hilarity.
I mean, just thinking about the whole kerfuffle made me laugh, because this sort of shiz doesn’t happen to anyone else!
And the ultimate fact is, whatever the ‘organizer’ had attempted to achieve (probably my ultimate humiliation and embarrassment) failed miserably. I came out of it all knowing that I, as a human being, am levels and levels higher than this particular ‘organizer’.
My mental health is well enough to never even consider doing stunts like this to other people. I don’t need to feel sorry for myself. Instead, I handled it all like a boss and continued to the next party.
And the next morning I laughed out loud on my own, still lying in bed, because I had a killer story to tell. I couldn’t wait to get to tell it to EVERYONE! A story of the randomness of my life that shows a particular person in quite as dark circumstances as their mental health is.
Have you guys ever had any similar ghosting experiences? How did you cope with the situation and how did it make you feel? ♥
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