Pros And Cons Of Honesty

Honesty is a virtue, as they say, but what are the actual pros and cons of honesty?

I believe in honesty and the fact that being honest will take you much further in life than being dishonest does. But I can’t ignore the fact that honesty can also be of the brutal kind. And that can get you into all sorts of awkward situations. I should know…

Many people live in denial and choose ignorance because being honest with themselves or with the people close to them can be painful. For example,

• we keep that cancer diagnosis to ourselves and dodge the questions about our pale complexion with white lies.
• we stop watching the news because it’s easier to go about our own troublesome lives when we do not know how terrible a place the world around us has become.

But is ignorance in fact bliss? It may be for a while but in the long run it’ll do you more harm than good. Why? Well, let’s dive into it!

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Pros And Cons of Honesty

I count myself among the brutally honest people. That often means that I want the people around me to accept that and be just as honest when I ask if that dress makes me look fat.

I’d rather get the honest answer than go out partying looking like a clown because my friends didn’t have the balls to be honest with me.

But having lived around Europe I’ve come to learn – through trial and error – that brutal honesty isn’t always acceptable. The lessons I’ve learned are:

1. It’s important to evaluate the situation before starting to spew honest facts about matters
2. One should always consider whether a more discreet approach might be beneficial for everybody’s sake.

So, honesty can be a double-ended sword. I’ve gathered here some pros and cons of honesty that I have learned along the way for you to consider as well:

Pro: Honest people lie less

And that can’t be a bad thing, right? What good ever came from lying anyway? Honest people don’t see any point in lying because telling the truth is much more efficient, even if it may mean some uncomfortable conversations to be had afterwards. Better to discuss than to fear being found out.

Con: You’re bad at lying

Preferring truth over lies often means that these honest people then cannot lie at all. This can be a bad thing, for example, when someone trusts an honest person with a secret or a surprise plan for someone.

It can be hard to stay quiet or to come up with alternative stories in order to keep the secret if your default setting is to be honest. As pros and cons of honesty go, is not being able to lie so bad, though?

Pro: People can count on your honest opinion

There are some who prefer a softer approach when asking for an opinion, for example, on an outfit. As I said before, I’d much rather get an honest “That doesn’t suit you”-answer than go out looking like a twat because my friends told me I’m good.

I see being honest with my friends and family as a favour to them, because I don’t want them to make a fool of themselves. You wouldn’t want to confuse them by avoiding the truth in any situation, would you?

And I think they see it the same way because many of my friends have said they come to me when they want an actual, realistic and honest opinion on something. I like that :)

Con: Your honesty can be mistaken for rudeness

Not in all cultures can one be as bluntly honest as I am. I learned this through trial and error;

• sending a ‘straight-to-the-point’ e-mail to a Finnish or Dutch person works
• but I would recommend a more polite manner with most other European equivalents.

In Northern countries we aren’t interested in basic pleasantries if there’s work to be done. Whereas in Germany, for example, an e-mail should always start with inquiries after the recipient’s and perhaps their family’s wellbeing.

Example from real life:

Pros and cons of honesty can be a tricky ground to navigate. I will never forget how my friend was gliding around the living room in her new dress for a night out.

She was attempting to get praising comments from two of our male friends sitting on the couch. The guys didn’t react (they were playing Playstation) so she inquired for an opinion on her outfit.

When the response was an honest “It’s a bit ‘Snooky‘” a fit of rage followed. But, in my opinion, if you ask for an opinion you should be prepared to hear and accept the answer.

It’s always good to remember that one should be careful with their opinions, and how to bring them out in a way that makes a point clear without insulting anyone. That should be considered in all cultures regardless, but without compromising honesty. It can be a slippery slope.

Pro: Your life is simpler

Honestly (pun intended). When you tell the truth, answer truthfully, and when you’re honest with the most important people in your life, your life is infinitely simpler.

You don’t need to explain your actions all the time when you’re open about them to begin with. And you don’t need to get flustered or be worried of being found out if you have nothing to hide. But, in terms of pros and cons of honesty, there’s a flip side to this as well:

Con: You may find it hard to know when somebody’s dishonest

It’s good to trust that the people around you are honest as well. But one should never trust anyone blindly. Nobody’s 100% honest, we all have skeletons in our closets and past endeavors that we’d like to wipe off the pages of history.

But the normal terms and cond… I mean rules apply. And you can see with most people when they are lying. The uncomfortable fidgeting, avoiding eye contact and the story changing shape by the minute are all clear tell-tale signs that are hard for anyone to avoid.

As long as we keep our wits about ourselves, we should be able to recognize if a person is lying to us or treating us dishonestly.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this; is it good to be (even brutally) honest? Or are white lies sometimes your preferred way of navigating different kinds of situations?