Sometimes we all wake up with our heads teeming. For me this usually happens when I wake up alone with nobody to distract me from my ponderings. Which is what happened today. Here’s a little look for y’all into what goes on in my head first thing after I’ve woken up:
I’m sitting here, in my boyfriend’s bed in my boyfriend’s flat with a cup of coffee to accompany me. My boyfriend is away on a business trip in Latvia. I took his keys because my own flat is unlivable at the moment and up til the day when the building manager decides it’s cold enough to turn on the heating in the building. Or would you consider 18 degrees a livable temperature?
I promised my boyfriend I’d tidy up a bit in his apartment while he’s away. He said it as a joke but I should know how much nicer it is to come back to a clean home. The washing machine’s rolling in the bathroom and I should arrange his sports clothes somewhere else from the hallway floor where they are scattered at the moment.
And then there’s that mountain of dishes… I HATE washing dishes. And he doesn’t even have a brush for washing them, but only these sponges which bring to my mind a microscope image of immense amount of bacteria teeming in the sponge. I can’t imagine anything less hygienic and that’s what most of the human population use for washing their dishes… Disgusting.
There’s a storm outside. I met a man from London on the tram one day this week on his way to the harbour from the airport. We got chatting (he asked if I had a Northern accent and I couldn’t have been more pleased with myself) and he told me that this particular storm had thrown an entire caravan upside down when passing over England while there was a woman still inside the caravan. I hope this is a diluted version of that storm.
I should be thinking about what I should get up to today but the thoughts of the uncertainty of my future keep distracting me. One thing is 100% sure: I need to resign from this job that I hate. But I can’t just yet, I need the money. But when I do, what happens then? Will things turn out as I would want them to and I will be able to move to the other side of the world with my boyfriend? Or might it be destined that I stay in Europe either on my own or with him?
Whatever the scenario will eventually turn out to be, I obviously want it to include him. But as someone who loves a bit of planning this situation, where I know absolutely NOTHING for certain and thus can’t plan for anything, is killing me. All I know is that I need to move away from Estonia by the year’s end. 3 years in a miserable country is quite enough and in fact way too much for one lifetime.
My coffee cup’s empty… I should get up and prepare some things for a wee photo shoot. The blog is in need of photographs again. Yes, time to start this Saturday!
Have a great one peeps! ♥